11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
