I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
