How's work?
Spinning.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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