Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
