College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
