ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize