Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm bleeding and have questions
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
