Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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