when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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