you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
