Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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