so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
