Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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