I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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