I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
