dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
