just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
