I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
