i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize