Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize