I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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