but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
