THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
