i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
