We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
