Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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