Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
