she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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