he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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