Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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