Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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