lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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