we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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