two words...techno handjob
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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