We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
