it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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