What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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