found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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