But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Randomize
