you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
