You smell like stripper and shame
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize