no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
