i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
