it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
