You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
