My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
