I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
