2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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