Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
