You just made me feel so damn special
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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