There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
