Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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