I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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