I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize