im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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