Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
