went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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