I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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