she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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