she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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