Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
