I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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