come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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