yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
