She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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