Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
