6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She is in my trunk
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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